Arsene Wenger – Arsenal’s biggest liability

As an Arsenal fan and a well-wisher of the club, I want Arsene Wenger to get sacked immediately. Even though he has done great for the club but the club hasn’t won a premier league title in 12 years. Sorry, we don’t want FA cups or Carling cups; we want a Premier league or a Champions league title. I mean, we had an incredible invincible 2003-2004 season with him but history doesn’t fetch titles, strategies and beliefs do. At the moment Wenger is offering none. The time is up for him and we want a new Coach that gives us a new hope, some success and a trophy most importantly.

We are tired of finishing at the fourth spot. Even the people who used to troll us are tired of this shit. Ideally, Klopp / Pep would’ve been the best choice for the club. Anyhow, it’s never too late. The only next best in our list now are Athletico’s Diego Simeone, Roberto Di Matteo, someone who was fired unjustly from Chelsea even though he got them a Champions League title or if the Gunners – Dennis Bergkamp/Patrick Vieira wish to take on the coaching role, which would be ideal. Let’s hope Arsenal finds a better replacement in time.

Petr Čech saved us more than 15 points this season whereas, we lack a good striker who can fetch us some joy, consistency and some damn goals. Defense is weak as Mertesacker is highly unreliable and can’t play at this level anymore. Flamini is shit, yet he plays game after game and Ramsey is clueless and busy fighting half the time pretending to be a Hollywood hero. There should be a restraining order against Flamini and Ramsey on behalf of all football fans. I just cannot understand Wenger’s psychology of playing these jokers.

The only guy who seems to showing some fight is Ozil. But what can a guy do alone? And till how long can he drag this saga? Since Cazorla’s injury, the team hasn’t functioned. Alexis is on a poor run of form. Giroud misses clear cut opportunities and his teammates don’t bring him into the right positions. Walcott is rubbish and should be sold to Newcastle as charity. Chamberlain enjoys spending more time at the hospital than Emirates. I won’t be surprised if the Spurs beat Arsenal on Saturday in the derby. The ambition to win has gone out of the team and they are just playing for the namesake.

When the team’s morale is down even the best of the guys like Sanchez and Bellerin seem to falter. There is so sense of leadership in the team and the manager isn’t instilling faith in the players to own their roles and attack like a unit. Ozil’s pass accuracy has gone down drastically. A team known for their attacking stroke play and faster ball movement, looks like a lethargic bunch of baboons with no motivation to win whatsoever. They lost to a United side which had the college the next day, just imagine the quality of coaching and inspiration these guys are getting!

The management is bad. The players’ selection is bad and that has degraded the performance of the entire lot, including some guys who are actually good. Under Wenger there is no harmony and flow. Wenger commits tactical and substitution blunders over and over again. There isn’t any homework done before the match by our coach/manager. He trusts his players blindly and doesn’t evaluate the enemy’s weaknesses. The oppositions on the other hand, are aware of the obsolete tricks which are used by Wenger and often counter those easily.

The old man isn’t offering anything significant to the table and has become the biggest threat and liability to the club.

We were at the top in December and could’ve reinforced better to climb to the top. As an Arsenal fan, I feel miserable with Wenger for not buying world class players (especially a decent striker who makes a difference upfront) to upgrade our good team, that can only finish third now at the max; nonetheless an improvement from fourth but still nowhere near the title.

No more excuses now, something has to change in this club and that evident change is Arsene Wenger. The team has become a joke in spite of having some really good players. The overall vibe has been polluted with Wenger’s stinky ideologies and this team cannot progress till it’s gone. The players are playing without imagination, concentration and any spark at all.

A good manager rallies his players and doesn’t take off his most dangerous and the most likely looking to score guy off the field, unlike Wenger; who sent Campbell out against Swansea.

Go Wenger, Go! It’s really embarrassing to see the club go down like this. Quit with dignity at least now. #WengerOut and yeah, just because you are mad at someone, doesn’t mean you stop caring! #GoonerForLife !

Arsenal Fans, check out this amazing Ozil Fan art: T-shirt and Poster from FanGaadi.

Confessions of a Fake Football Fan

To be a ‘true’ fan requires the ‘living’ experience of Football. Apart from just watching, one must play the sport to actually get the feel of it. It’s all about the passion, the emotions, the excitement and the faith one shows towards the sport.

Well, if this is the criteria for anyone to be hailed as the real Football fan, I’m the most fake one ever produced in the history of the game. I haven’t played or seen a Football game in ages. Neither do I watch it with uttermost dedication. But, I’m a fan. The fake one. The one who knows how to play around with a few keywords, who knows a little too much to keep the conversation going in a gang and who honestly likes Arsenal’s game. The last bit isn’t fake.

The art of faking began in the year 2009 I guess, when I moved to Bangalore from Hisar.
Hisar is a small town in the North-Indian state of Haryana, a state known as the Gold-Mine of medals in the Olympics where physical sports like Wrestling, Kabaddi are religiously preached and even Cricket is followed to a great extent. There is no scope for Football. Hardly anyone talks about it, forget about liking and playing. At least when I used to live there, nobody used to. Not sure about the current situation. I just hope it has picked up.

Basically, there wasn’t any predominant Football culture back there and in a flash I got exposed to this Football frenzied city of Bangalore. Bangalore, where ‘Cool Kids’ follow, play, talk, wear and even shit Football.

Obviously, I had to be socially accepted. Moreover, what could a potentially insecure fellow, someone who didn’t even know how to converse properly in English do? There wasn’t any option left! Fake it bro, echoed the heart and there I was googling which club ‘Rooney’ belonged to. Haha! That was the only name I had ever heard. Not kidding! Alright, it was just a matter of a few nanoseconds and I was a Red Devil. Manchester United was all I lived for. If there was WhatsApp back then, my status would have surely been ‘GGMU’.

I seriously think the branding of Manchester United has been impeccable in India. Just when I wanted to show-off that I belonged there, a Nike store popped up right into my eyes, provoking the fan inside me to shed a few grands and earn the certificate of loyalty. And, deep inside that was exactly what I was looking for. There you go, the cool kid on the block had an official hoodie with a red-yellow emblem stuck on his heart.

It didn’t stop there. Now, the foodie inside me wanted to dine at the newly opened Manchester United Bar and Restaurant. Thanks to that, I got to know about a few more players. I had to stay updated but I never even watched a game. Technically, I didn’t even know the rules. What to do? No problem! It was time to use Mark Zuckerberg’s baby, Facebook. The official page of Manchester United was liked and everything in life was sorted.

Years went by till I realized that what sort of a blunder I had committed. You choose a Football Club once in a lifetime. You can change your name, your identity and even your religion but NOT the Football Club. It’s divine. A deep realization had struck like lightening. I never even liked their game. Their monotonously sheepish stroke play and Louis van Gaal’s out of the box tactics bugged me to the core. And it was time to fix things.

Thanks to my roommate Joe, who is an ardent United Fan; unlike earlier, I actually watched some Football and a lot of United’s games, to actually realize the fact that it was Arsenal, which I really admired and how bad actually United played in the recent times. There is hardly anyone to look forward to except Mata and Martial. Rooney is confused which role to play, an attacking midfielder or at the front. Mata also doesn’t play half the time, thanks to Van Gaal’s love for Fellaini.

On the other hand, Arsenal’s game is really attacking and is actually fun to watch. And yeah, Arsenal is not named after Arsene Wenger. I’ve got my facts straight. Had I supported United based on their rich legacy, the class of 1992 it would have made some sense. Seeing the averagely-playing-overly-hyped, team United lose now and the looks on Joe’s face make up for all the sins I had committed.

Following United is my biggest mistake till day! As a fan, please do not replicate such injudicious behavior. DO NOT START FOLLOWING ANYTHING BLINDLY. Till you actually know what you are supporting, kindly don’t be a part of the following.

Staying uncool is absolutely cool!

I felt a similar chutzpah recently when a lot of naïve guys signed up for free basics. Every time I got a notification that so and so loser has fallen in the social trap, I had a hearty laugh. You’ll see a lot of fakes like earlier me, popping up during World Cups and Euro Cups. But don’t count them as fans. I bet they can’t even name 5 guys playing in the team they support. I even have friends who do that! As a responsible fan, it’s my duty to warn you and I’ve done my part.

Now, I am absolutely sure that this is the club I am supporting till I die. Even though Deepika endorses Arsenal, I still have not bought Arsenal’s jersey. Too old for that kind of shit. I am not going to put Gunner Forever as my WhatsApp status because I know however hard I follow Football, it’s not innate. I don’t even watch all their games. But Football means Arsenal to me, whatever the little I follow. Cricket is what flows inside my arteries and Football doesn’t come that naturally. It won’t be fair on my part to objectify my faith towards something I’ve started to like,by faking it.

Over the time, I have started to read more about Arsenal. The other day I came to know how Bergkamp and Henry took Arsenal to new heights in the early 2000s. It felt good and honest. Gradually as I know more about them, a time will come when I’ll be actually a true fan and Ozil 11 would be the greatest possession in my wardrobe.